Pied Piper - Evil Bastard

We've all read the books as children. The evil wrong doings of the notorious badman of Hamelin in Germany in 1284. Our school teachers lied to us in their telling of the old fable. The town folk of Hamelin tried ripping the Piper off for his 24 hour rat cleansing phase. The Piper returned to get his revenge on the town when he piped 130 boys and girls down to the river, never to be seen again. Our teachers, and all written work since have told us the children drowned in the river. LIARS!!! The children were lured into a class 5 pie and were whisked off to a Pie Making facility to the East of Dusseldorf. It was there that the children grew old and died making shortcake arrow heads for the Great invasion of Leipzig in 1303. The story was well documented by townsfolk but the original bindings were lost in a cellar in neighbouring Poland. Over 630 years later Adolf Hitler invaded Poland in the hope of finding the alledged written works. He was successful only to have the bindings taken from his body after he was entombed in a custard slice at the end of WW2.