The Pier Piper of Hamelin has a long and twisted lineage.
One of his decendents, a certain Mr Sweeney Todd of Ye olde London towne opened the first fast food shop.
Offering a quick "penny all off" which most people thought was a good bargain to get your hair cut for only a penny.
Alas, you got more than you paid for as he included an introductory "slice and dice" with a cut throat razor for free.
His business never really attracted a regular clientelle, and certainly was not spread by word-of-mouth mainly because no one ever got out to return for another seession.
His mistress worked downstairs in the bakery preparing a selection of hot crusty fayre.
Both Sweeney and his "bint" were under the control of a steak and kidney regional pye master who lurked within the underground sewers of the old city.
They were eventually discovered when one of their pies ate a customer.
Although it has never been officially confirmed, there are rumours that Jack The Ripper was in league with Sweeney.
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