"Festive Greetings Earthlings"

An understatment if ever there was one.
This story has been told for eons and the true tale has been lost and mis-interpreted down the ages.
The three wise men were in fact 3 bakers representing Britain on their way to ye olde international pye festival in the middle east.
whilst discussing their olde recipies on route they noticed a blinding light in the skye, which they took as a good omen and continued to follow in it's direction where they ultimetely discovered its final resting place, somewhere near a run down old shack with a few goats and sheep hanging around.
What they actually saw was an ICBM (Inter-Continental Ballistic Meat-pie) which had malfunctioned and crash landed in the red sea, which caused a massive tidal wave that accidentaly wiped out a load of egyptions who were out on a 10 mile charriot race.
This scene was corroborated by gang of Jewish campers having a lads night out.
The heat from the impact caused a load of bushes to catch fire with such intensity that the raging crackles of the burning branches sounded like a ogreous voice as it echoed around the canyon, as told by an old geezer who was nearby collecting stone slabs to use as roof slates.
Ye Olde bakers strayed too close to the impact site and were stricken with fever, vomiting, and an uncanny ability to glow in the dark.
All that was found of them a few years later somewhere in a cave near the dead sea was a load of olde recipies which they had stashed in their earthen wear storage urns.
The stories began to circulate and over the years, someone had good sense to write the recipies down into one book which was originally called British Ingredients By Levent Esballahh (the author).
A lot has been lost through mulitple translations which recounted wildly eroneous stories of great feasts using a few fish and garlic bread and a secret way of turning water into mulled wine !
Suffice to say the Phrase "festive greetings" was originally "Festid Greetings".........